Boooooored. Bored bored bored. Bored.
In the pitch black of the testing room, the holoscreen before Mouse bathed her cheeks in a soft blue glow. She sighed, chin nested in an open palm. Her free hand jabbed at the projection before her, answering the same questions worded differently over and over.
Whyyyyyyy?
She and Mutt were supposed to be out shooting the bad guys today, goddamnit. But instead of savoring the gratuitous violence of another thwarted assault, they were both stuck here. It’d been a whole twenty three minutes, and she still couldn’t believe it. They had actually pulled the both of them out of line-up for this. It was just a stupid test! A stupid, redundant test that they probably required specifically to justify the money they spent on these screens. Just, really. They rippled whenever she selected an answer.
With a quiet grunt, she shifted her chin to her other hand. She blinked, then blinked again, eyes moist and sore despite the manufacturer’s claims. ‘Tested safe and comfortable on over three hundred species!’ Pfffft. She bet Mutt a whole paycheck once that none of those species were nocturnal. She won.
Laaa de daaaa.
A few minutes passed, and she realized she’d been staring at the same question the whole time, with the same words and everything. ‘Have you ever found yourself excited over the prospect of killing an enemy combatant?’ Of course she had. This morning, in fact. And then these assholes ruined it.
Her finger jabbed ‘no’. She groaned to herself, but apparently the automated proctor thought she was groaning for everyone and flashed a nasty warning on her screen. She stuck her tongue out and made as ugly a face as she could manage, as if a complex array of cameras and microphones really cared.
There was a sudden poke to the back of her head. She jumped in place, whipping around to see Mutt stepping by. He was finished already. Angrily waving her middle finger around in an attempt to insult the back of his head, she caught a blinking out of the corner of her eye. The proctor again. Strike two. One more disturbance and she’d have to start over from the beginning.
Her palms met her face, only to flail angrily at the screen. A muffled “What?!” barely escaped her lips, and she slapped her hands over her mouth, holding her breath. Seconds passed. Nothing happened. She exhaled slowly, carefully tapping at the next answer.
~
Perched cross-legged at her usual corner café table, Mouse huffed. Thin fingers snaked over to Mutt’s plate, stealing a chunk of… some sort of meat. She was never really sure what animals they were eating. She was always sure she didn’t want to know. “Mutt. What the fuck. I mean, really. Why is that shit necessary?”
He shrugged. “They want to be sure you’re not a sociopath, or—”
“But I’m not, I—”
Mutt mushed his hand across her face. “I was still speaking.”
“Mmphh! Fffuuudff ffyouu!” Her fingernails dug into his hand, pinching as hard as she could.
He raised an eyebrow. “Not a sociopath. Or a sadist.”
Her fingers fell slack, brow twisting in a frown beneath his hand. “Bffuutt I’mf fnnooooffttt!”
Mutt grinned, shaking his head. “And how many times did you lie on that test?”
Mouse’s frown turned into a grimace. Her fingernails shot for his face.
He leaned back with a sigh, his reach dwarfing hers. “Exactly.” Releasing her head, he reached for his cup. “Speaking of, sparring tonight? I imagine you feel a bit pent up.”
With a long, drawn-out sigh, she slumped forward against the table. “Yeah, whatever. I’ma beat your ass, Mutt. You big, overgrown, smelly, shaggy-ass—”
Grasping some greasy fried breaded thing, he shoved it between her lips. When she recoiled, he pushed up on her jaw, forcing her to chew. “Yes, I’m sure.”
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